Alcohol Effects on Family Relations

Alcoholism affects more than just the person afflicted with the disease; it permeates the lives of family and friends as well. In fact, alcoholism can be accurately described as a family disease since it often warps the behavior of those close to the alcoholic, leading them to protect and even hide the addiction.

However, there is natural confusion about what exactly constitutes an alcoholic since the behavior is often unique to the individual. Despite this, some basic signs indicate a person has a drinking problem that needs to be addressed by professionals.

What is an Alcoholic?

An alcoholic is a person with an uncontrollable urge to consume alcoholic beverages. Medically, alcoholism is a disease with many negative effects on the health of the body, as well as detrimental mental issues caused by alcohol's effects. Due to the social stigma of alcoholism and its varying effects, it can be difficult to discern how many alcoholics there are in society. Even close family members may not be fully aware of their loved one’s struggle with alcoholism. However, in most cases, the alcoholic has a very detrimental effect on the family.

Spouses or Partners of Alcoholics

Those who are married to alcoholics often take on new roles, just like their children. From being in denial about what is really happening to fearing abandonment if they confront the alcoholic, spouses and partners tend to develop a high tolerance for, and overlook or ignore, the damage being caused to their family. They may feel confused, depressed, and even guilty, believing the alcoholism is their fault. Such feelings create greater distance between the couple, causing more disruption in the family unit. In many families, the non-alcoholic spouse or partner may develop a co-dependency role, which can include being overly pleasing, suppressing their anger, and experiencing feelings of abandonment. When both partners are alcoholics, the problems multiply as they both tend to be in denial.

The Children of Alcoholics

Alcoholism is one of the leading causes of dysfunctional families. It has been linked to increased suicide rates in children and greater health care needs, averaging over 30% more than children of non-alcoholic parents. In the US, nearly 11 million children under the age of 18 have a mother, father, or both who are alcoholics.

The danger in alcoholic families is that children's behavior can be negatively affected regarding what is appropriate. This is one reason why children of alcoholics are four times more likely to become alcoholics themselves or become chemically dependent, perpetuating the disease. Understanding the effects of alcoholism on the family starts with knowing what an alcoholic is.

How Alcoholism Affects the Family Structure

One major effect of alcohol on the family is how children take on new roles that may have positive intentions but usually have a negative effect. Because their normal environment has changed, they adapt by taking on different roles that subsequently damage them emotionally. The following are some changes that children may experience when one or both parents succumb to alcoholism. These roles they take on reflect the breakdown of the normal family structure:

- The Responsible One: A responsible child often takes over the role of being their own parent. They may appear normal outwardly because that is the image they want to present to the world. However, they struggle to ask for help, which can become problematic when faced with issues beyond their maturity level.
 
- The Withdrawn Child: This child emotionally withdraws and seems unaffected by the behavior of family members. Their emotional withdrawal signals a loss of touch with their own feelings.

- The Angry Child: This child openly expresses that something is wrong in their family. They act out of anger and often struggle to fit into society, but their emotional reaction is a more honest reflection of their home environment.

- The Placating Child: This child strives to ensure harmony in the family. They are warm, kind, and caring but often disconnected from their own feelings, which can become troubling over time.

Treating Alcoholism in Families

Because the effects of alcohol extend beyond the abuser and impact all family members, it is crucial that the entire family becomes part of the recovery process. Without family support, recovery is far more difficult as the lives of family members are also changing.

Recovery is not a short-term process as the alcoholic can relapse at any time. This requires finding the right treatment options that offer continual support for the alcoholic and help adjust roles within the family. The first step is for the alcoholic to enter rehab to detoxify their body and remove them from the pressures of drinking. Next is identifying the forces that drove them to alcoholism, so these can be effectively treated. By addressing the motivations to drink, the alcoholic can take actions to prevent relapse. Here, the family is also involved to provide the right type of support and start becoming a real family again.

The effects of alcohol are powerful, and while an alcoholic can never truly recover in the sense that the potential for relapse will always be present, proper treatment that includes family involvement can restore normalcy and guide everyone towards a healthier direction.